Yuletide, 1420 SR
by xirtadar
Summary: Slash. Sam x Frodo. Unrequited feelings lead to an awkward Christmas morning.


"Frodo, wake up," Sam whispered. Frodo growled a little and then opened his eyes.

"Sam?" he asked delicately.

"Merry Christmas," Sam replied, "I made you breakfast in bed."

Frodo sat up. "Oh, you didn't have to do that."

"Well, I did, so eat up" Sam placed the tray on Frodo's lap.

"Wow, Sam, flapjacks! They're my favorite." Frodo eagerly dug in.

Sam sat on the bed next to him. "I even brought boysenberry syrup."

"I know," Frodo answered, but Sam couldn't understand him very well because his mouth was full. After breakfast they went to the study to smoke some pipeweed, which Frodo had taken to in the mornings lately.

"Sam, that really was to kind of you to surprise me like that."

"Well, it's the least I can do for my best friend."

"It gets so lonely in my rooms all by my self. I hardly see you anymore."

"Well, I've been busy with Rosie and Elanor."

"I thought I was going to have to spend Yule alone."

"Well, not if I have anything to do with it. Today you're coming with my family to my father's."

"Oh, that's too kind, Sam. I'm afraid I can't make it, though."

"Why not? Is it your shoulder again, Mr. Frodo?"

"Um, well, it does hurt an awful lot ... and that melancholy that has seemed to settle over me hasn't gotten any better either, but..."

"What is it then?"

"It's Rosie."

"What's wrong with Rosie?" Sam looked puzzled.

"I don't think she likes me very much," Frodo responded.

"That's ridiculous. Of course she likes you — you're part of the family."

"Well, Sam, I think she's jealous of all the time we spent together on our quest, and well ... I think she knows that you love me more than you will ever love her."

Sam sighed at this.

"In some ways that's true, Mr. Frodo. The things we saw together out there, well ... there are just some things Rosie can never understand. And, well, I'm right sure I'd never want her to know what it's like to be in that kind of situation, knowing full-well this could be the end, I might be clobbered over the head by a barrow-wight or something, or eaten by a giant spider. Frankly, if Rosie never meets a giant spider I'll be pleased as punch." 

"You don't drink punch, Sam," Frodo said knowingly. 

"It's just an expression." 

"True." Frodo took a drag on his pipe, which Bilbo had given him on his 33rd birthday. 

"Now listen to me very carefully, Mr. Frodo. This is very important. I know we've been through a lot, and you know I'll always have your best interests at heart. If I were ever to lose you, it would be a sad day for me and my family." 

"Oh, that's so sweet." 

"And it's true. But I couldn't ever love you _more_ than I love Rosie. They are two very different kinds of love." 

"How do you mean?" 

"Well, I love you the way one loves a much older, male employer he went on a perilous quest with, and I love Rosie the way you love a wife. Who's a woman. With a vagina."

"I don't understand."

"Um, this is very awkward, but..." Sam began, but he was rudely interrupted by the boisterous entrance of Merry and Pippin. 

"Hello, hello!" Pippin exuded. 

"Happy Yuletide!" Merry added. 

"Oh, hi," Frodo demurred. 

"Why so glum, Fro?" Merry asked. Pippin just stood there with his bottom lip protruding slightly, trying to look as sympathetic as possible. 

Sam stepped in front of him. "He's not glum! His shoulder's just hurting him, you know." 

"Yes, that must be it," Frodo said as glumly as he could muster. 

Pippin put his hand on Sam's shoulder. "Sam, did you say something you shouldn't have to upset our Frodo?" he half whispered. 

"No!" Sam exclaimed. 

"No matter!" chimed Merry. "It's Yuletide! We brought you gifts, Frodo." Merry and Pippin then thrust two poorly wrapped boxes onto Frodo's chest. "Open them!" 

"Oh, sure." Frodo said, picking up the one with a "FROM MERRY" scrawled across the wrapping paper.

Frodo ripped off the paper. "Oh, gee," he said without any exuberance at all. "It's a hat." 

"I knitted it myself," Merry grinned, grabbing the hat out of Frodo's hands and sticking it on Pippin's head. 

"I was Merry's hat model," said Pippin. 

"Doesn't it just look fabulous on him?" Merry said with a wink. 

"Yeah, yeah, sure," said Frodo. 

"Yes, Mr. Merry, that hat is right competent and, um, looking nice. Now I need to go ... now. My family needs me." 

"Wait, Sam!" said Merry. "Don't you want to see what I got you for Yule?"

"Oh," said Sam miserably, sitting back down. "Sure." 

Merry handed Sam a gift. "I'm surprised you got me a gift for Yule, Mr. Merry." 

"Well, Sam, we were all out there together, and you're a very good friend of ours." 

"Thanks." Sam carefully opened his package. "Oh, it's, uh..." 

"That's right!" said Merry cheerily. "It's a dildo, and I carved it myself!" 

"I was Merry's dildo model!" Pippin enthused. 

"I think maybe you got the presents mixed up..." Frodo said softly. 

"Nope," Merry confirmed assuredly.


End file.
